Receiving Admonition in our Close Relationships

Hopefully you are developing close relationships with other believers. In healthy close Christian relationships, there is a mutual freedom and openness when it comes to confronting or admonishing each other.  If you have this kind of mutual accountability you are extremely blessed. You will not be effective in giving admonition though, unless you first know how to receive it. Consider the following questions as you review your own Christian friendships: 

1. Have you given them permission to admonish you? 

Sometimes we send subtle and not so subtle signs to those we are close to us that certain areas are off limits. Your reaction, such as anger, avoidance, and moodiness can keep people from approaching you. Is your relationship strong enough to reveal areas that you struggle in? Is the door of communication and vulnerability wide enough to allow freedom to discuss such areas and be able to reprove you? If you are unsure about this, you should consider asking them if they feel this freedom. If they don't, ask them why they don't. 

2.  Are they free to raise questions about issues that are not black and white? 

There are several teachings in the Bible that are clearly articulated with little or no dispute, such as the condemnation of fornication, lying, and stealing. We do not have to extensively investigate the Bible in order to figure out God's position on such matters.  These issues could be called black and white areas.  However, there are many issues that the Bible does not take an absolute stand on. We call these gray areas. 

What is a Gray Area? 

Gray areas are issues that Scripture does not take a dogmatic stance on, or at the very least, issues that Scripture does not discuss in depth.  Instead, the Bible gives Christians the liberty to make God-glorifying decisions based on their convictions. 

What Are Some Examples of Gray Areas? Drinking, dating, kissing, gambling, smoking, clothing, music, movies, television, birth control, dancing, spending your money, home schooling, working moms, etc.

Do your friends or family feel they must have an open and shut case before they can ask you? Much of the "fine-tuning" of our characters comes through other Christians who know us well—our tendencies and our weaknesses. 

3.  Do they feel that they have to “walk on eggshells” regarding besetting sins? 

It’s a good sign when Christians are involved deeply in one another's lives and relating to each other under grace. Are you so defensive and thin-skinned that your Christian friends avoid telling you what they need to tell you? When Christians silently agree to relate to each other this way, it destroys true fellowship

Just a thought…not a sermon!

Blessings to you today,